Grief

Grief is the normal response to any important loss in life. It occurs regardless of whether death followed a prolonged illness, or a sudden accident. Grieving people experience both physical and emotional traumas as they try to adapt to the upheaval in their lives brought about by the loss.

Psychologists have long recognized that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person. The death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental love source. There is no longer anything for the pet owner to nurture and care for. Furthermore, the owner looses his or her contact with "the natural world." These feelings can be particularly intense for the elderly, single people and childless couples, (for whom the pet also is a child substitute).

Many people do not realize how traumatic and confusing death can be on a child. Although children tend to grieve for shorter periods of time, their grief is no less intense than that experienced by adults. Children also tend to come back to the subject repeatedly; so extreme patience is required when dealing with the grieving child. Some helpful tips for helping the grieving child include:

1. Giving the child permission to work through their grief.

   • tell their teacher about the pet's death.

   • encourage the child to talk freely about the pet.

   • give the child plenty of hugs and reassurance.

   • discuss death, dying and grief honestly.

2. NEVER say things like "God took your pet," or the pet was "put to sleep."

   • The child will learn to fear that God will take them, their parents or their siblings.

   • The child will become afraid of going to sleep.

3. Include the child in everything that is going on.

4. Explain the permanency of death.

Grief is probably the most confusing, frustrating and emotional thing that a person can experience. It is even more so for pet owners. Society in general does not give bereaved pet owners "permission" to grieve openly. Consequently, pet owners often feel isolated and alone. Luckily, more and more resources are becoming available to help the bereaved pet owner realize that they are NOT alone and that what they are feeling is entirely normal.

Resources

• The Rainbow Bridge

• Grief and Pet Loss

• Grief Healing

• Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement

• Lightning Strike

• In Memory of Pets

• A Reference to Pet Loss